Most of us will experience loneliness at some point in life. It can be in moments, in certain situations and in shorter or longer periods of life.
For us as people with multiple sclerosis, it can hit and be a strange size because loneliness is about many things… not just being alone.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone
You can easily be alone without ever feeling lonely. You can also be with others and at the same time feel lonely. Loneliness is about feeling involuntarily alone - that one may lack cohesion.
Loneliness is a feeling, but also a message to us.
Loneliness is a void that needs to be filled - and many times it is a social deficiency. But it can also be the combination of feeling a lack of cohesion.
As a few examples.
If you have a bad period with your multiple sclerosis and you go and "struggle" with it, and you are with several people at a gathering, you can suddenly feel lonely because the togetherness or community you have around your multiple sclerosis is there does not.
You do not have to be at a gathering - it is a feeling you can get, the loneliness, even if you have a lot of friends or acquaintances but where the understanding there is about multiple sclerosis, or sclerosis in between is not there. You also do not have to have a bad period, you can hit a period of loneliness where you lack unity or understanding.
The feeling of loneliness among people, the feeling of loneliness even though you have many friends and acquaintances is a very incomprehensible feeling for many - but it is a natural reaction.
It's not about having only friends with multiple sclerosis, or friends within one particular interest - but it helps to have people in your circle of friends where you have a common denominator, such as. sclerosis.
Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling and it can be very painful. But it is a signal to change one's rhythm, pattern, circle of friends.
Loneliness can also come from having some thoughts, feelings, or sides of oneself that one oppresses or does not want to stand by or can stand by, and one is afraid of others' reaction or lack of understanding…
For some people with multiple sclerosis, you can end up in a situation where you do not know how your circle of friends will understand your multiple sclerosis, some hide with their multiple sclerosis - and the feeling of being the only one in the world with multiple sclerosis falls on you, and you become lonely …
Fear can create loneliness - fear of the reaction of others or being seen as a useless person - a disabled person.
A part shuts itself inside itself, so as not to be seen… and it can create loneliness.
Thoughts about the future - or the fear of it.
These are many great things, and they are things that can create loneliness.
Loneliness is a taboo !! You do not talk about it.
Who the hell thinks it's cool to say - yes I experience loneliness! - I am lonely.
Loneliness hurts - for some much less so.
A very important thing to emphasize is that one MUST work with it. One MUST react and try to do better - and not do as some do… they begin to accept and live in loneliness - to accept that this is how it is now! If you accept it, it starts to become more and more, unmanageable, confusing and you will live with the fact that it is ok to be sad (no matter how sad you are ………)
Loneliness requires action.
When you sit at the bottom of the hole, it can seem overwhelming to think that you can do something to change your condition. And that's what loneliness is - it's a state (a feeling).
Do something about it !
No article written about something that is negative, without giving advice and without seeing any positive possible ways or angles.
Nothing is impossible. It takes a bit of work, but watch to get started if you feel lonely.
There are many ways to alleviate or overcome loneliness.
First, it's about listening to your body - your instinct.
It has already spoken to you if you have read this article. You know right now - if there is a degree of loneliness that you are sad about. You may be angry or upset right now - but it's an acknowledgment.
Then look at who you associate with - who gives you and who sucks off your energy.
What is it for people - they cover some of the needs and things you want to talk about, whether it is taboo or not. It may be time for you to seek out new people, and here I just use Sclerose.info as an example… If you are missing someone to talk thoughts and feelings about sclerosis with, look in the group on Facebook about someone who writes something that is good or something that has caught your attention.
Contact those people. Write to them - say hello - say hello.
Write what you think of their post or so - reach out.
Are you very brave then make a thread yourself where you write you like to share thoughts feelings ideas with others. (it can be cross-border for many ……)
Many will be able to write together… you can skype or zoom
… And if you physically live close to each other you can meet
Another way to get in touch with others is simple…
Go to a cafe or similar (Now COVID is not exactly the right time for this, but it is coming)
Many cafes are open in the morning - a lot come to read the newspaper… and it should surprise me if you do not say good morning 2-3 times you see the same people, and maybe you exchange a few comments and this suddenly becomes more and more….
These are just a few tips - and a new way to try to look positively at your situation.
But important is - action.
Do something about it - because nothing happens if you do not try.
See it as a new positive challenge - and remember there are many who are in the same situation, you are not alone.